What Women Wish Men Knew During Sex

We compiled tons of responses and boiled them down to five main takeaways. We included more specific responses so that you can see what real women had to say about what women want during sex.

5. Sex is not just physical for us, it’s emotional and spiritual. We need it too!

I wish my husband knew that sex is an emotional and spiritual experience for me. It’s not just about the physical, I need to feel the connection to him. If he makes the effort to romance me, it’s going to go a long way to getting me in the mood to be frisky with him. I wish he understood that a girl still has needs, that it’s better if we take time out of our busy week to enjoy the pleasure of each other a few times throughout the week. We don’t always want the same “moves” either… surprise us by changing up things. It isn’t just physical. There is a deep psychological need to connect with him in that way. I wish he knew that I want to have sex with him often! What women want during sex is a connection. I know there are some stereotypes and jokes about men wanting to have sex and women inventing excuses all the time, but they’re not true for everyone! I love to have sex with my husband, and I want to do it as often as possible!

4. We love it when you initiate!

I wouldn’t mind being romantically seduced! I wish my husband would initiate more often. What women want during sex is to feel so sexy you can’t bare to wait any longer! I wish my husband would take control in the bedroom rather than me always planning when we have sex. I love feeling desired when you initiate. You seeking me out makes me feel special and wanted.

If your wife is still being a bit timid in the bedroom, that’s okay. We’ve found intimate games really take the pressure off! We adore the Game of Love, and we wrote a post all about why …plus, drummed up our own little freebie game to go with it!}

3. When I say no, it’s not you!

Sometimes I’m just over-touched by the kids all day long. Just because I’m not into it at that exact moment does NOT mean that I’m not into you. It’s not because you’ve done something wrong – I’m just not feeling it. I feel guilty when I say no – please keep pursuing me. It gives me confidence and makes me feel like I’m enough. Just because I don’t desire it all the time doesn’t mean I don’t want it.

2. It takes time to get me in the mood. So be patient!

I can’t just drop everything and be ready to go, especially if I have a lot on my mind or a big to-do list. I need time to connect emotionally first and unwind. More foreplay for me please – starting the same way doesn’t help me. My brain is always thinking about work, family, children, etc. It takes me some time to switch gears and forget all that in order to “get in the mood.” What women want during sex is to feel fully immersed in the experience. For us, that takes some warming up. Be patient and know that taking the extra time to get me into it will be worth the wait! Take it slow. Women need the right mindset! Help us get there with eye contact, flirtation, and kind words. MORE FOREPLAY!

And the number one answer…

1. Romance needs to be all day long.

Sex starts in the morning! We can’t be disconnected all day then jump in bed at night; we need to be connected all the time. Sex is an extension of a happy relationship, not a momentary encounter. I want him to be romantic, loving, and touching all day long. He needs to let me know all day how much I matter to him. What women want during sex is to feel fully loved–that’s when we feel most passionate. Flirt with me all day long to show me how much you really want me. Be emotionally intimate during the day and you will get physical intimacy at night.

What do Women Love During Sex

There you go, men! Now you know exactly what women want during sex. All the inner thoughts of your loving wives are right here for you to see. It can be difficult to talk openly about sex because we don’t want to hurt each other’s feelings, try starting with this list to open up the communication lines and see where it takes you! We also strongly suggest And They Were Not Ashamed for a good book to read together and learn how to grow closer through physical intimacy (Shaunti Feldman did essentially the same thing, but on a bigger scale – and we highly recommend it! It will completely change the way you view your wonderful wife and her amazing brain! Grab her book here!) Communicating your thoughts and desires is a huge way to figure out what your wife wants during sex. If you loved this article, be sure to check out What Husbands Wish Their Wives Knew About Sex, How to Make Your Husband Happy, or 8 Reasons You Should Have Sex Tonight.

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